Age 40

April 16, 2025

Colin Wright

Apr 16, 2025

Current Location: Milwaukee, WI
Reading: Death Masks by Jim Butcher
Listening: Cross the Street by Junior Varsity

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Quick Notes

New Work:
- This week’s Let’s Know Things is about Money Mules and Matchmakers
- Yesterday’s Brain Lenses essay was about the Game Transfer Phenomenon & the pod was on Madman Theory
- And last week’s piece for Writing & Such was on Centaur Writing
It’s my birthday! I’m now 40, old as the hills, older than some buttes and bays. In lieu of cake, becoming a paid supporter of this (or one of my other) online missives would be an amazing gift (if you’re in the position to do so), as would buying me a coffee or buying one of my books (or leaving a review for one you’ve already read on Amazon or wherever else, if you’re not in the position to spend money on things right now (relatable))

Age 40

At 40, a man living in the United States has used up more than half of his statistical years; the average man dies at around 75 years old in this country.

That’s a lot of years! It’s not enough; I’d like to keep going, ad infinitum. Tons to experience, plenty left to learn. But I’ll take what I can get. It’s a hell of a lot more years than even very recent generations could have hoped for.

I tend to think of age a bit like I think of generational labels like Boomer and Millennial and Gen Z: they’re shorthand for rough, blurry trends, but are seldom accurate for any individual human being.

I like the idea that while there are periods in which we tend to do certain things—people in their 20s jump into the workforce, people in their 60s start meandering toward retirement—there are absolutely no rules about when (or whether) we buy a house, consume ayahuasca, find a partner, take up knitting, go to school, or anything else.

No one can stop you if you want to learn to code in your 80s, and you have every right to start a business in your teens and not date till your 30s.

This chronological lawlessness appeals to me because I’ve always found pleasure in doing things at (statistically) irregular times and in oddball combinations, and I fully intend to continue doing the same, however many years I ultimately tally.

Things do change as we get older, of course; physically, mentally, socially. My needs and priorities have shifted, my lifestyle has iterated, and my body has thrown me all manner of curveballs. I have every reason to think there’ll be more of the same moving forward, too. Probably a lot more.

And that’s both the least surprising thing ever and the most wonderful gift, as these tweaks to the model (and our expectations) really do keep things interesting and force us to grow in directions we didn’t even know were options earlier in life.

I had some things easier in my 20s than I do on this, the first 24 hours of my 40s. But I would not give up what I’ve done and experienced and learned, all the growth I’ve measured and upsets I’ve managed, if offered the chance to revert back to that earlier version of myself.

It’s no contest: I like who I am now a lot better than who I was back then. And that evolution is the direct result of all the good and bad, the adventures and struggles, the pleasures and moments of intense, nearly unbelievable pain.

I hope against hope that I can say the same when I look back at my 40-year-old self from the lofty heights of 50, 60, 70, and maybe even 80—if I manage to defy the statistics.

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Interesting Links

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I stand at this desk every morning, and though I still need to find the right piece of artwork to go in that blank patch of wall in the top right of the photo, and though a white desktop demands near-constant dusting, I love my little setup.

What Else

Looking back at where I was a year ago, I’m thrilled to report I did most of what I set out to do.

After publishing a book (about aging) last year around this time, I gave myself permission to take another stab at fiction, and I’m approaching the end of my first big revision of the initial draft. After several more tactical waves of editing, I’m hoping to have it ready for beta readers by the end of May.

After realizing I pulled too far inward during the pandemic, letting my in-person local social network collapse, I’ve thrown myself into doing more things around Milwaukee. I also now host a weekly reading group, curate a meetup-focused event list, and have about a dozen more friends hereabouts than I did a year ago (my girlfriend and I are playing with our D&D group tonight, in fact).

I’ve also further committed to focusing on the vital stuff and eschewing the superfluous, which has allowed me to be there for people I care about more of the time; which is something I like being able to do and think is important, but which I haven’t always been capable of doing at the level I would prefer.

So that’s that: another year, another year’s-worth of learnings and doings and feelings. I’m looking forward to what this next 365 day period brings—thanks so much for being a part of this odd (but very me-shaped) life I’m fortunate to live :)