Communication Norms

There are people in my life who I’ve known for years, and with whom I exchange emails, texts, or voice messages maybe once a month, if that.

That rhythm, which we’ve established over time, works for us: we’re not seeing each other every day but we’re keeping each other up to date and we’re keeping our options open for future in-person meetups; but there’s no rush or pressure involved.

I have to remind myself, at times, that it can take a while to develop a mutual comfort level with a given communication cadence.

When I first met my girlfriend, for instance, she (and her friends) had all sorts of Instagram norms that I was completely unaware of, including rules about how people tag each other, what they post and don’t post, what’s rude and what’s polite—that sort of thing.