Lived-In

A heuristic I use to determine what aging-related things to invest in (and how to invest in them) is that I want to have a body that’s lived-in, not perfectly preserved.

There’s a lot to be said for maintenance and care. It’s a good idea to vacuum the floor, scrub the shower, and make sure there aren’t any broken windows. I do my best to get rid of any asbestos I find, to keep the foundation from sinking, and to apply a new coat of paint every once in a while.

But I don’t want to live my life in a home filled with plastic-wrapped furniture. I don’t want to have a Potemkin body, propped up for display and only for display. I don’t want to be so precious about purity and perfection that I never get to live in my body, as opposed to merely occupying it.

Exercising, eating as well as we can, building strong relationships, being a part of something larger than ourselves; there are many things that help us feel good and function properly, and which will help us stay healthy, strong, and capable deep into elderhood.

Those sorts of things can also make us look good, as strength and vitality often inform aesthetics and appeal. It’s not one-for-one, though. Many things we might do to make ourselves look attractive or healthy actually have the opposite effect. Others prevent us from enjoying the selves we’re cultivating: the equivalent of swaddling our homes in plastic wrap so that no dust, no stains, no crumbs can ever accumulate. A well-preserved space, but not a terribly livable one.