The Spark

May 3, 2023

Current location: Milwaukee, WI, USA
Reading: 1Q84 by Haruki Murakami
Listening: Eat the Acid by Kesha

(if you have a moment, reply with your own 3-item status via email or in the comments)

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The Spark

Note: I’m mentioning this at the top so everyone sees it. Let’s try something!

If you’re keen to connect with some new people, leave a quick comment on this post by clicking the button below and sharing a little something about yourself (roughly where you are in the world, what sorts of things you enjoy learning about and doing, the last thing you ate that blew your mind, etc), alongside some way to contact/connect with you (a social media profile or an email address you’re comfortable sharing in a public space, probably).

The idea is to stoke some new connections and friendships—so it’s a bit like a dating profile, but for (hopefully valuable) platonic interactions with other wonderful human beings.

Have fun, be nice/don’t be creepy, and allow yourself to share what you love (and be open to new enthusiasms) with someone you probably won’t start a podcast with (that last point will make more sense after you’ve read the essay).

Recent data almost universally suggest we're in the midst of a loneliness epidemic.

Folks are spending less time with friends and acquaintances, more time wishing they were hanging out with other people, and are benefitting from fewer of the warm feelings we tend to associate with meaningful (and even casual) human contact.

I suspect this isn’t just the consequence of pandemic-era isolation: we’re being tossed about by a cyclone of novel technologies and communication mores that arguably formed in the early 2000s (with the emergence of the mainstream web, and then the initial release of smartphones in 2007), but which has only become more potent and disruptive since then.

This transition has not been a purely negative thing: the same technologies that have messed with our capacity to connect in the traditional fashion have simultaneously empowered us in many fresh and interesting ways.

But we are living through a grand reshuffling of habits, norms, and etiquettes, and this liminal moment is defined, in part, by the dissolution of the social glues and shared customs that held earlier eras together.

We've still got social needs, in other words, but the means through which we served those needs even just a handful of years ago are less relevant and reliable, today, and newfangled, healthful (and commonly accepted) standards haven’t yet materialized.

There's an observational joke that goes something like this: men will really get together to start a podcast instead of just asking if their friends want to hang out.

This is kind of true, I think! And it’s not just men (though the podcast world is awash with “men just talking to each other”-themed shows).

I suspect this trend of “productive socializing” might be an interstitial norm, as it allows us to be around and build relationships with other people, but with an excuse—a justification—that seems okay through the lens of social media-amplified hustle-culture, while also providing us a face-saving way out if the other person isn’t keen (“I wasn’t trying to be your friend! It’s just business, don’t worry.”)

But it also points (I think) at our latent desire to have other people in our lives, to share experiences and thoughts and casual niceties with those other people, and to figure out socially acceptable methods (within the current milieu) through which we can pitch the idea of connecting and intellectually cross-pollinating to other human beings.

Kindling such connections can be tricky, though, and while recent research indicates strangers will tend to be happier to engage with us than we expect, that doesn't mean it’s always going to be comfortable sparking such interactions. These can be truly vulnerable, “put yourself out there” efforts, and we're awash in other experiences that superficially replicate the same sense of socializing and connection without that strain—so why put ourselves through that?

I've made it a personal goal to more consciously invest in these types of connections, with mixed results.

That said, attempting to expand one’s social circle tends to open up new opportunities, lead to new, interesting avenues of exploration, and nudge one into a more socially adventurous state of mind, so paying attention to these dynamics and asking oneself how one might refine and healthfully expand them, alone, will generally be worth the effort expended.

If you found value in this essay, consider buying me a coffee or becoming a paid subscriber :)

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Around this time in 2015 I was on tour throughout North America (this was in Banff) with some good friends :)

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My Work, Elsewhere

Aspiring Generalist / Brain Lenses (podcast) / Climate Happenings / Let’s Know Things (podcast) / Never Not Curious / Notes On the News / One Sentence News (podcast) / You Probably Don’t Need

Might I suggest reading:

Tech and ZIRP

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Interesting & Useful

• Misconceptions

  “If learned early on, a foundationally incorrect view of the world can perpetuate, as students naturally build knowledge in light of a past, incorrect, understanding. Something as basic as our assumptions about the relative locations of Earth's continents is an interesting, and actually sort of fun, example of how we can get things wrong right off the bat. Ultimately, everything is learned, but some curious geographic errors tend to persist more than others.”

• McDonalds McDonaldland Specification Manual (1975)

  “Ronald McDonald is a CLOWN. The fact that he is a corporate spokesman should not overshadow his ‘‘clownness.” He is all the good things that come to mind when thinking of clowns. He is full of fun and friendship. He is sometimes zany, sometimes daring, always amusing. Ronald resides in McDonaldland but is equally at home anywhere he goes. The other characters in McDonaldland look up to him, respect him, and are fond of him. Ronald is intelligent and sensitive, but always clown-like. He can do nearly anything, even including incredible feats of magic. The antics of the other McDonaldland characters serve to complement Ronald’s humor. They do not upstage him. Ronald McDonald is the star.”

• Unidentified: 30 Years of UFO Sightings

  “UFOs are most frequently observed in the evening hours of summer & fall, with 56% occurring between 19:00 and midnight. But not all years have spikes in the same months: in some years, November & December have the most reported sightings. The radial of sightings by month & year shows that none of the winter months—January, February, & March—have had the most sightings for a given years in the last three decades.”

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Outro

As mentioned at the tippy-top of this email, consider leaving a quick (public) comment by clicking the button below.

Share something about yourself, something you enjoy, something you learned recently that blew your mind—and then consider responding to other folks: reaching out and connecting across the digital ether.

I’d love for folks who read this newsletter to be able to connect with each other, play games, chat about heady topics, exchange knowledge about Romanian folktales or surfing or knitting or doing math at a high level, or whatever else seems meaningful/fun/interesting to those involved.

You can watch streaming videos with other people on the internet! Maybe have an online watch party. Chill and hang and have a ball and make some new (nearby or international) friends :)

You can also drop me a quick hello to introduce yourself, tell me what you’re up to, or for no reason at all—reply directly to this newsletter or send an email to colin@exilelifestyle.com. I respond to every email I get and would love to hear from you!

Prefer papercuts and stamps? Send me a letter, postcard, or some other physical communication at: Colin Wright, PO Box 11442, Milwaukee, WI 53211

Or hit me up via the usual methods: Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, or photos of cats being funny and weird in Japan.

(Since the social media world is topsy-turvy right now, I’m also trying out Mastodon, Post, T2, and Substack Notes.)

Natural Landscape Photography Awards 2022.