Weird Stuff Only
As you learn about a topic or achieve proficiency with a skill, it can become intimidating to utilize that skill or learn more about that topic.
I was an art student when I arrived at university, and spent my first year doing typical arty-things: drawing, painting, sculpting, photographing.
I segued into a dual-emphasis degree in graphic design and illustration my second year, which required some different focuses, but still necessitated quite a lot of drawing, composing, color theory, and the like.
I’ve thus had both formal training and a fair bit of practice in everything from doodling to figure drawing to masterwork studies, so when I apply ink or graphite to paper, there’s typically more pressure embedded in that process than there might be for someone who was never graded on their illustrative efforts.
It’s beneficial and satisfying to invest oneself in challenging activities, and that can mean exploring unfamiliar territory or more deeply investigating familiar terrain.
Romping through lesser-known spaces typically isn’t as imbued with expectation, though, while reinvesting in existing expertise can be burdened by comparison.
It can be liberating to be a novice, in other words, because there are fewer applicable measures of success, and those that do apply are generally much easier to casually achieve.
I struggle with this dynamic sometimes, because although I enjoy practice and learning for its own sake, I also enjoy the sense of growth and accomplishment derived from doing things well.
I can usually nudge aside my perfectionist instinct, but I do reflexively expect a certain level of quality when traversing well-tread terrain and applying familiar skills.
I decided I wanted to get back into drawing a month or so ago, but the last few times I’d sat down to actually illustrate something more than a casual doodle, my pencil kept returned to familiar subjects and well-worn styles—nothing interesting or surprising.
It was still an enjoyable experience, but it wasn’t as rewarding as I had anticipated. And there certainly wasn’t any growth involved.
I ordered a new sketchpad and a few new drawing pencils, and when these supplies arrived, I wrote “Weird Stuff Only” on the cover of the pad.
The idea was that this block of 100 pages would only be used for new styles, new subjects, and different approaches to drawing than I’d tried before.
The label was a declaration that within the confines of these pages, my metrics for “good” would be different: it wasn’t about creating things that would earn me a solid illustration class grade, nor was it about creating work that would impress other people.
This pad would be for strange stuff, novel stuff, unusual and awkward stuff. This would be a home for purposeful experimentation and failure.
It’s a small thing, but that little label did help me feel more comfortable with this decision, even though the words were only symbolic an internal change of intention.
The same is true of many permissions we grant ourselves: it’s okay to try and fail, it’s okay to experiment and grow, it’s okay to just enjoy this thing or activity rather than needing to be good at it, it’s okay to take some time to recover or indulge, it’s okay to have aspects of your life that will not earn you any external validation.
It’s all okay, and ideally we feel that okay-ness without needing tangible evidence of it.
But when it’s a struggle to get there, sometimes a little note, reminder, or label can be helpful in triggering the proper mindset and setting the desired tone.
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Projects
Brain Lenses:Psychobiome (essay) & Dissociation (podcast episode)
Let’s Know Things:Thai Protests (podcast episode)
Yesterday’s Newsletter:Israeli Government, Meat-Free Whoppers, Walmart Opioid Lawsuit (curated news summary)
Curiosity Weekly:December 22, 2020 (curated list of interesting things)
Other: Lots of reading this week: I finished up a hefty nonfiction book the other day, and as a counter to that long period of single-book meandering have been filling a lot of my time with shorter, more niche reads that I can polish off in a day or two.
I’m also in the process of refining my list of concise guides to write, based on feedback from readers of last week’s newsletter (thanks to everyone who responded!). I replaced the finicky mechanical keyboard I was using with a shiny new one a few days ago, and I’m looking forward to putting more mileage on this thing with a pleasant period of book-writing.
Interesting & Useful
Some neat things I came across recently:
Better Days(chill music video made using 2k+ photos taken over the course of 101 days)
Tiny Building Replicas (fun body of work)
Blob Opera(requires Chrome to operate, but it’s worth it)
How Science Beat the Virus(thorough exploration of what’s been happening within the scientific world during the pandemic)
Aerial Photography Award 2020(makes me want to get a drone)
Who Gets to Breathe Clean Air in New Delhi?(very compelling storytelling)
A New Way to Travel Across the US(I sincerely hope this goes as well as it seems like it could)
Open Library Explorer(I love concepts that aim to reinvent the serendipity of wandering physical bookshelves)
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Outro
It’s already the end of December, and I’m having trouble figuring out how that happened.
That said, I’m thrilled that the year is nearly over. Natural milestones of this kind are wonderful opportunities to assess what’s happened, consider what might happen next, figure out where I’d like to be, and make plans as to how I might make that possibility a reality.
Call this process “setting resolutions” if you like, but I find broad-based recalibrations tend to work a lot better than one-off tweaks to ingrained habits, with everything else staying the same. A fully realized plan to be a healthier version of yourself is more likely to stick and bear fruit than a resolution to go to the gym more often, with nothing else changing.
That said, simply making it through this year is a spectacular accomplishment that should be recognized and celebrated, even if many of us are a little worse for the wear after facing the many frictions and fractures of 2020.
Have any end-of-year traditions that you’re looking forward to? Trying out any pandemic-era replacements for the usual festivities?
Any big plans for the new year?
Drop me a line if you’re keen to tell me a bit about yourself, and/or want to share something about what you’ve been up to in this strangest of strange times. You can do so by responding directly to this email, or via colin@exilelifestyle.com.
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You can also communicate via the usual channels: Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, or technologies not made by China, apparently.
If you’re finding some value in what I’m doing here, consider supporting my work via one of these methods: Become a patron / Buy a book / Subscribe to Brain Lenses
You can also buy me a coffee if that’s simpler :)
We should have more of this sort of list, I think, rather than only celebrating the accomplishments and influence of the very young.